Channel Hide: Help. I'm Addicted to Achievements

Hi. My name is Jimmy, and I'm addicted to achievements.

I mean that with all seriousness. I am ADDICTED to the achievement system that is built into every single Xbox 360 game.

I yearn for them.

Those few I have not unlocked taunt me, sometimes even keep me up at night. I have used the word 'chevos' in place of the full word because I was just too damn occupied with getting more chevos and was too impatient to fully say 'achievements'. I may be ashamed of this more than anything.

I have bought downloadable content JUST to get any achievements attached to it. I compare my games to that of my friends to see how the are doing, help them get achievements, or pick up the few that I missed. I have contemplated getting the Avatar: The Last Airbender game because you can get all 1000 points at once. (I'm hanging onto the fact that I have yet to bow down to this temptation.)

What's worse? Now there are Achievements FOR UNLOCKING ACHIEVEMENTS! Check out the screenshot below. You see that? I can get 'Milestones' for unlocking achievements in all the various Halo games. Double True!

...and as God as my witness, I will collect all those damn Milestones.

Can you blame me though? It's the positive reinforcement I've wanted my whole life. How many times have friends, family, and household pets laughed at you or dismissed your ambitions? How often do you accomplish something in life and nobody is there to celebrate with you? Dammit, every time I do something worthwhile I hope something will pop up in my field of vision stating 'Achievement Unlocked' like on the Xbox. It feels good. It is undeniable proof of greatness. It can (and often does) set you apart from the other people going about their abysmal life one day at a time.

And lets face it: Video games are HARD

They always have been. I remember all those frustrating moments on my Genesis. After beating Sonic for the first time I was so damn happy, but had nothing to show for it. When I shut the system off, it was gone. Not even Sega would remember. Back then, anyone could claim they "beat the game" or "found" the hidden item within the game world. Without achievements, there was no proof. But now, thanks to the wondrous minds at Microsoft, there are millions of little badges and trillions of points to acquire.

I downloaded Sonic on the Xbox's Arcade platform, and got all the possible achievement points in it. Now I can prove it. Now it won't be forgotten. Such vindication! Such relief! I have accomplished something!

Sure, the points don't count for anything. You can't cash them in or put them on a resume (God how cool would that be? I'd never be unemployed) and a lot of people would argue that they still don't amount to any real accomplishment. I didn't get paid. I didn't get awarded any medal or trophy.

Still... in today's society, I'll take what I can get. Those little square pictures that count for imaginary points do make me feel accomplished, and by Grapthar's Hammer, I will get as many of them as I can. They are the new Pokemon. I have to unlock them all.

Oh, and for those of you who play Halo and noticed the screenshot at the top... Read 'em and weep. 100% completion baby.

Yes, my friends. I have a problem... but I think I'll live with it.