Life Question 1: How Much For a Glass of Moon Water?

I hate geniuses.

Why, you ask?

Because they've doomed us (insert your hatred here).

What do I mean?

You know. They're always poking at stuff and are trying to see how things work; it's sickening. They are slaves to their own boredom.

When an average human gets bored he will spend his free time doing something relaxing. Whether it be playing a video game, reading a book, writing meaningless blogs, the average person always finds a way to enjoy his life, usually in a way that does not intrude on the lives of others. But not geniuses!

When geniuses get bored, their curiosity takes a hold of them. They feel the need to dissect something, or to create an atom bomb, or to make ice cream. Some way or another, the geniuses find ways to change the world. Sometimes for good, sometimes for bad.

Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, come on Kuzma, innovation is the key element of a successful economy. What could a nosy genius possibly do to us?

How dare you think skeptically of me.

You want an example?

Fine.

On Friday November 13th, two NASA astronauts had finished their morning missions and were contemplating what to do. They had already played all of their boardgames and had already saved Princess Peach from every Mario game ever made. So they read a book right?

WRONG!

They thought, Hey! There's the Lunar Sensing Satelite, Let's take it for a ride.

SLAM!

They crashed the 87 million dollar satellite into the moon.

Luckily for the astronauts (unluckily for us) they had stumbled upon one of the greatest discoveries to date. I'm talking of course about water on the moon.

Now at this point you might be thinking, oh man, water on the moon? That's awesome! Why should we hate these people? I would pay big bucks for a glass of moon water! How much would a glass cost?

Well you're a moron.

Do you really think the mooninites will let us simply take their water?

That's right. The mooninites wrath is now upon us. We "bombed" their land and stole their water. So now you see, the question isn't how much money does a glass of moon water cost, but rather how much blood?

The answer of course, is

ALL OF IT.

Nobody can escape the quad-laser.