Alright, Who's This Wise Guy?

Well, you're silly for asking that. I am far from wise. In fact, I'm a lunatic. Well, not really, just a little goofy. Even my name is goofy. Kuzma. What the heck is a Kuzma? By the way it's pronounced Koozma. That was sexy. I think I'll say it again. Koozma.

Anyway, I am a college student in West Virginia (the rumors are true, we call it the toothbrush because everyone only has one tooth here). In my senior year, I have found West Virginia a little boring, so I've started new hobbies (such as this one).

Now that formalities are out of the way, we can get down to business.

Why am I here?

I plan to contribute my "two cents" every now and again to help Jim "enrich your day".

Who cares what I have to say?

Well lots of people: smurfs, leprechauns, hippies, George Bush, fish. I'm just an interesting kid to follow.

What will I say?

Well, as a goofy kid I've developed a weird prospective on how to look at life. For example, while some people may say the glass is half full, I say it's half empty because I was the one who drank half of the water. See? weird.

Anyway, I am known to many as a man with a million questions.
I like to call these questions: life questions. I consider my questions life questions because although humorous in nature, they really have some application to the world.

For example, Life Question 7: How many cats do you need to own to be officially be considered as a "cat lady"? Is the answer 10?, 20? 100? If the answer is 10, what happens if you only own 9? Are you a poser? TELLLLL ME!

To learn more about me and to read my random questions as I think of them, you can follow me on twitter (kwazykozmo) and facebook (Matthew Kuzma).

Well, it's late. I'm going to bed. Nice to meet you all.

Oh, one last thing. How much do you think a glass of moonwater costs?

The Barrel List (part 1)

The Barrel List

Hey there everybody,

I was watching an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond today and the topic of the episode was quite inspiring. Ray (the guy everyone apparently loves) was having a midlife crisis of sorts and the family suggested he make his "Bucket List" or list of things to do before he dies.

Short story: He didn't have that many things to put on his list, creating even more hilarity as he soon realized he had accomplished what he always dreamed and began to fear that he had nothing left to live for.


This got me thinking.... Why wait until your 40's to make a bucket list? Start young, give yourself more time, and eventually you will churn items off that list like Joey Chestnut packing franks at Nathan's on the Fourth of July.

So without further delay, I present my "Barrel List" (buckets are for kids on the beach). This is part 1 of a (seemingly) unknown number of posts concerning my own life's goals and dreams.

These items are not in any particular order, so I've decided to list them in order of Shenanaganary rating.


Goal: Become a published author
(Shenanaganary rating of "Humble Pie")

I enjoy writing, as you can tell (you are reading this, if you haven't noticed...) and I love expressing my creativity on paper (or word document). To be able to reach a wide array of people with nothing more than my own ideas would be truly fulfilling. Frankly, I'm honored you are reading this, so having a published work would be beyond my wildest expectations.



Goal: Learn To Play Guitar
(Shenanaganary rating of "Gently Weeping")

I like to consider myself musical. I can play most brass instruments as a result of my school days in the band, and I have somewhat learned how to play the harmonica thanks to the plethora of information on the Internet, and I've taken piano lessons for a long time, but one instrument that has always interested me has been the guitar. It's always been elusive... I didn't not have access to one as a child and my parents really weren't knowledgeable about the instrument so they suggested going into music our schools were able to provide lessons with (basically your average wind and percussion showcase). I'm sure if our school did have guitar lessons, they would have been happy to put me in line to learn, but unfortunately some things just don't happen. Hopefully someday in the future (when I can afford it) I will be able to take up the instrument and learn to play it as well.



Goal: Fly a Plane
(Shenanaganary rating of "Kick the tires, light the fires")

I LOVE AIRCRAFT. From watching World War II airplane battles to the star fighter glory from Star Wars, I always wanted to learn to do that. Being a pilot has an element of freedom attached to it most people don't really have. I would love to be able to put myself into the sky and be able to look down and know I'm not going to die from the fall. Planes and helicopters of all types fascinate me, especially military craft. My favorite aircraft is the The McDonnell Douglass F-15 Eagle and it is mostly because of a video game I had on the Sega Genesis called "F-15 Strike Eagle II". As a kid, it was the first plane I was exposed to. The game had detailed specs and diagrams that, over time, I learned to understand.




Well, I'll stop off there for now. Look for more goals of mine in the future, and feel free to share your own in the comments!


~Jimmy "Red Leader to Base, I'm Hit!" the G.

Updates-a-comin

Heeeelllooo!




Now that I have your attention and have placed an always funny Seinfeld pun on my website, I feel I owe you all an apology.

For reasons that are not important (Laziness, forgetfulness, lack of enthusiasm)the channel has not been updated in a while.

NOT ANYMORE!

The channel is now a one-man show, and I am posting this to tell you that it will be updated soon and the not-so-hilarious hilarity will march onward into the oblivion we are all guaranteed as humans.

Stay tuned, internet. More from the Channel is on its way. Thanks for your patience.


Jimmy "GOOOODBYYEEEE" the G.